Parallel Universe

This is going to be a little random and scattered, but I think it works.

I’m almost afraid to jinx it. Actually, I’m totally afraid to jinx it. But let’s just say, things are ok at work. Boss and I had a good chat today. I think she’s slowly starting to realize I’m not the enemy. And that’s all I have to say about that.

We took our “staff” bowling today as a staff outing. I quoted staff up because only 3 of our 15 student staff attended, which kind of stinks, but we had a really nice time. One of our students has a daughter, and I spent most of our bowling time with her on my lap singing our ABCs. The best part about it is that at the end, my student came up to me and told me I’d be a really good mom. And that made me kind of warm and fuzzy on the inside.

I had a moment earlier this week when I thought I could maybe be pregnant, but for a weird reason: I was smelling things really strongly. Actually, I was smelling the liter box very strongly and Jersey’s box is not usually smelly, but I think I just went in there to clean it right after she went, so the ammonia smell was still there. I mean, ho boy, was it there. So, of course, my crazy illogical mind thinks that means I’m pregnant. Further consideration had made me realize that I’m not, because, well, I’m not. But, for the 5 minutes I thought I might be, I was totally ok with it. Not totally ok with how we could afford it (we can’t.), but ok with the idea of being a mom right now. I’ll be honest that I’m a lot jealous of LaLa and her belly and her little person that will be here soon.

In other pet related news, we’re still waiting to hear about our dog. I think I mentioned we’re trying to adopt a dog. A Boston Terrier. We’re working with a local rescue group, and have made it through the adoption process, but are just waiting for one of the foster parent’s to contact us saying that they have the perfect dog for us. Keep your fingers crossed.

And finally, I am thrilled it’s the weekend. I’m even more thrilled that next week will be quiet and easy and I go back to working a normal person 9-5. For the rest of the summer. No late nights until September. I can’t wait. My big weekend plans? Sleeping in, lounging in my pj’s, doing laundry, and doing some shopping. Sounds perfect, yes?

So Happy Friday. May your weekend be a boring as watching the grass grow. That’s a good thing. Night!

Regrets

I don’t believe in regrets, in principle. I believe that every experience, every decision, every breath is important because it makes you who you are. I wouldn’t be the person sitting here writing to you today if I hadn’t experienced everything that I did.

With that said, for the sake of blogging and accepting who I am, I do have some regrets I’d like to share. Here we go:

  1. Not being a girl scout: This one really isn’t my fault, because I didn’t have the opportunity to sign myself up for brownies and girl scouts as a kid. And I don’t really blame my mother. But, along with 5th grade chorus, band, soccer, and any other opportunity that I didn’t get as a kid, I do regret that I wasn’t able to participate. I guess these are classic childhood experiences that I wish I was able to have had.
  2. Shutting people out in High School: Ok, so here’s the deal: I wasn’t particularly popular. So, by the time Senior year came around, I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder with regard to 99% of my classmates. I couldn’t be bothered. I specifically remember sitting in Senior Home room (the Cafeteria) on the first day of Senior Year tapping my foot because I did not want to be there and thinking “why can’t I just skip senior year?!” In reality, I could have, both intellectually and emotionally. But in hindsight, I wish I had not been so angst. I wish I had formed bonds instead of breaking them, and although there is part of me that still has that chip, I do wish I was on closer terms with some people from school.
  3. Hooking up with Dan: Ah, Dan. Dan was a friend in college who I had a teeny-tiny (read: ENORMOUS) crush on and I was convinced that we’d get married. Dan, however, eh, not so much. But, we spent a lot of time together and while I don’t think he was disgusted by me, I just don’t think he had mushy feeling for me. Well, one night Sophomore year, after a lovely little get together in Queen’s and my room, Queens ended up crashing next door in friend room. Dan and I ended up being the only ones in our room. Needless to say, I basically jumped him (hey, I was drunk. So was he.), and we “hooked up” that night. I’m laughing as I write this because that was the first time I’d ever touched a penis and I, in my inexperience, refused to give him a blow job, ha ha! Also, he wasn’t circumcised, so that was also awkward. After that night, we agreed it wasn’t a good idea (aka he shot me down) to do anything like that again. Fast forward about 3 weeks to a night where everyone went out to a bar/restaurant where someone knew the bar tender, so we could drink underage. (Needless to say, that place got busted shortly after this night.) After a few hours of drinking, it was time to go home. That evening had been particularly weird because not only because Dan was once again showing me attention, but I was also getting attention from another male friend, B.S. (stands for Bob Saget, who he freakishly looked like). Well, Dan and I headed out to the parking lot and started making out in the middle of the lot while we waited for Queens. (Queens, I know you will read this…) Anyway, the car ride home was about 45 minutes, and Queens was our DD. She was driving, and in the front seat was this guy Al and on his lap was this girl Krista (she’s so random, she wasn’t even friends with us) and in the back was Dan, me riding bitch, and B.S. Well, Dan and I decided this was a great place to continue our little make-out session. In the back set. Driving down the Long Island Expressway. With 4 other people in the car. And, at one point, B.S. decided he wanted to get in on the action. In my defense, I don’t remember kissing him, but I was drunk and so I can’t be certain. I do remember he tried, at the least. If I did anything with B.S., it was only kissing, I swear! That would also be the first time I ever got to, ahem, “third base” with a guy. With Dan! And when we got back to campus, we ended up going back to our room. Only this time, Queens was there. Dan and I, in our drunken stupor, didn’t have the modesty or awareness to put on the breaks, and ended up hooking up again. Nothing more than “third base,” but the next morning, a very angry Queens screamed at me when Dan left, “I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAD SEX 3 FEET AWAY FROM ME!”. I didn’t. It was cleared up. But I do wish I had handled it differently.
  4. Letting my boss get the better of me: Like I said in my last post, things have been ok the past few months. I’m doing everything in my power to do a good job at work. But I wish that I didn’t let her get to me so much. I wish that I could care a little less. I wish she didn’t get under my skin.

So those are my regrets, if you can call them that. Again, I don’t think, in reality, that I shouldn’t have experienced (or experienced) these things, but maybe handled them differently? But I am who I am because of these experiences, and, well, they make some good stories, right?

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Another Fuzzy Alarm Clock

Tee. Hee.

Hi. I don’t really need to explain do I? I’m just going to go with it. When I write, I write. When I don’t, I don’t. As a wise mid-90’s musical about NYC proudly proclaimed: Take Me or Leave Me!

So I suppose I’m due for about 3 months of updates on life.

I guess the most notable thing is that work as been OK. And by ok, I mean reasonably tolerable. My secretary left mid-March to go work in another office, and I think my boss realized that she could choose to either work with me or against me.  Thankfully, it appears that for the most part, she has chosen to work with me. She has even COMPLIMENTED me in the past few months on my work. Needless to say, my jaw hit the floor quite a few times. We did a search for a new secretary and for the past 3 weeks have had a young man who graduated from the school a few years ago behind that desk. So far so good.

With that said, tonight is the first night in MONTHS that I’m actually cooking dinner (turkey burgers and fries, as per Paul’s request). I’m actually blogging from the kitchen counter as I let the burgers cook on the Forman because, a) the thoughts of what I wanted to write were in my head and I knew if I waited I’d forget, and b) I have a laptop, so why I insist on keeping it on the same end table next to the couch I’ll never know. The point of that rant is that I’ve been crazy-busy at work. Lots of long hours and multiple 12-hour days have added up and taken their toll, but the end of the semester is near and the glory of summer is upon us, bring with it 9-5 work days, 4 day weeks, and not a single snowflake in sight.

Let’s see, what else had happened in the past three months? Paul and I signed up for, along with Kay, G, and Queens for a Warrior Dash in June. I earnestly signed up (again) for Weight Watchers back in February, shortly after my birthday, and gave it the old college try for about a month, but then my secretary left and the 12-hours days hit and McDonald’s was oh-so convenient. But, I do get on the elliptical about once a week, which is more than before, and once the semester ends I can devote an honest to goodness 3 days a week to working out, and really I just want to finish the race, not have the best time. And I think I can do that.

Paul and I finally painted the living room/dining room last weekend. I had a 3-day weekend due to the glory of Easter, and we took advantage of that and I spent 4 days painting away. It’s not a drastic change from what it was. The room went from industrial white to Linen. If you glance at the walls without looking at the trim, you think it’s white, but it’s actually a greyish beige upon further inspection. And I must say, we did a pretty damn good job. And it only took us a year to do it.

That’s right, folks. As of, well today actually, Paul and I have lived together for an entire year. And we still like each other. In fact, we still love each other a whole lot. My sex drive still isn’t that high, but it is entirely due to stress and tiredness than lack of wanting, and he understands. Our two-year anniversary is a short 30 days away, and I’m hoping a shiny ring turns up sometime soon. I know a MAJOR consideration on his part is money. He wants to have a certain amount in his bank account before he buys a ring. But it’s coming soon. Because lord knows that I’ve been dropping lead bricks in the disguise of hints for a while now. He will when he’s ready, but I wish he’d be ready yesterday (oh, and that Royal Wedding didn’t help, especially because I was MADLY in love with Wills when I was younger, pre-Baldy McBalderson…)

But, I do have to say that despite the fact that we aren’t engaged yet, that isn’t stopping us from becoming parents! We are currently in the process of adoption. We’re actually supposed to have a home visit on Monday. We’re hoping for a beautiful baby that’s both black and white and already house-trained. Yup, we’re rescuing a Boston Terrier! We found a great rescue group that serves our area, and have been going through their adoption process. They’ve called Paul’s Aunt, our landlord, for a reference, done a phone interview, and the next step is for someone to visit out house. She was actually scheduled to come today, but had an emergency and will be coming on Monday. After that, if we are approved, we will hopefully be matched with a dog in the next few weeks! I’ve already started clipping dog food coupons in anticipation. How will Jersey react? We’re not sure yet, but two things are on the top of our priority lists with getting a dog: a) the dog is documented as getting along with cats, and b) Jersey was here first and will always be my Bubby Princess Kitty Kat.  It will be a new challenge, but one that I’m open to and excited for, and hopefully will all work out, plus it’s coming at a time of year that I feel good about, and know that I will have the time and opportunity to get used to a new fuzzy alarm clock waking me up in the morning.

So, no promises that I’ll write again soon. It could be tomorrow, a week from now, or 3 months, but know that, with a couple of exceptions and moments of anxiety, I’m doing fine and so are Paul and Jersey and no matter what we will continue to be doing fine. Great even. Amazingly: Happy.

P.S.- Except for the phantom bagpipes I was hearing today that makes Paul think I’m going crazy. Follow me on Twitter for the whole story on that!

Holiday Recap

The holidays are over. Boo. I feel like you spend so much time preparing for the holidays, and then they are done and over with way too quickly. Overall, the holidays were wonderful, and I was so thankful to have the time with my friends and family. Let’s review:

Christmas Eve Paul had to work until 7pm, but I was graciously invited downstairs to his Aunt’s for dinner, even though Paul was still at work. That was so kind of them and it made me feel like I was really part of their family (more on that later). Paul’s dad and sister don’t get along, well, really, no one gets along with his dad, so there was some bickering and tension, but by now I’m used to it. I was a good little guest and helped with the dishes, which is more than I can say for his sister, but what are you going to do, right?

Paul’s aunt and grandma got me a beautiful Food Network waffle iron for Christmas, and I’ve already made waffles 3 times since. After dinner Paul and I went upstairs and relaxed, and waited for Santa to come.

I didn’t sleep well that night, probably because I was secretly hoping that I was getting proposed to the next morning. Unfortunately, I don’t have any magically exciting news: no proposal. But that’s ok. When it happens, it happens.

But Santa was very generous, let me give you the run down of what was under the tree. Paul got a dartboard, darts, a new beard trimmer, Yahtzee, underwear, and a manicure kit. I got Your Shape for the Kinect, a Dan Marino throwback jersey, and a Open Heart Necklace from Kay Jewelers:

Oh, there's a story

On Christmas, we were kind of busy. First we stopped by his parent’s for breakfast. This was very nice, because while eating my bagel in the kitchen with his mom, she said to me, “I’m really glad that you’re part of our family”. Isn’t that sweet? It made me feel really good that his family accepts me and our relationship and that when Paul does propose, I will be part of the whole family.

And just for the sake of keeping track, his parent’s got me a pick electric screwdriver and pink tool set. So cute! I used them to hang up Paul’s dartboard!

We then headed down the shore to Grams, which was annoying. We were only there for about 15 minutes, but in that 15 minutes, about 15 people were in her tiny living room, and I felt overwhelmed. Gram gave me some cash, which I used to buy a Shark steam mop I’ve been wanting.

Then we left the chaos and headed to my parent’s house. Kay and G and Rufus were there, and it was so nice to spend time with them. We haven’t seen them since they came up to visit in July. We ate some snacks and caught up, and then it was present time. Paul and G loved their Nerf guns. Kay’s scrubs fit perfectly. Mom loved the scanner and everything that I bought for my dad to give her. Dad did his classic “very good” response to every gift he got. I did well, too. $50 to Ikea from Kay and G (we already bought the end table we needed to finish up the living room!), and a new knife set, pillow, and homemade crocheted blanket from my mom (Dad doesn’t really buy gifts).  After gifts we ate our delicious dinner, and then played darts. It was a really lovely and calm Christmas and I couldn’t be happier with how I spent the day.

As you saw in my last post, the next day we had about three feet of snow, so I spent the next couple of days in the house doing nothing. But that’s exactly what I wanted to do during my break.

I have stories about my necklace and why you should avoid Kay Jewelers, and about where we stand with the proposal, and about the rest of my break, but I’ll save them until tomorrow.

Right now I”m going to finish locking up at work and then head out for the day. Thankfully, since there are no students here, I get to leave at 5pm instead of 7pm or 8pm.

Until tomorrow, Peace!

Fa La La La La, La La Ka-Ching!

The title really has no relevance to this post other than being a hilarious quote from last year’s (it was last year’s, right?) The Office Christmas episode, when Dwight is selling the unicorn dolls for a jacked up price, and his talking head is him deadpan saying that? I think I laughed for an hour. Haha, I’m actually laughing now thinking about it.

Actually, this post should be titled “Christmastime Plan-O-Rama” (but you’d have to pronounce the “rama” like ram, not rom, cause otherwise it doesn’t rhyme. Sorry, this is the one time I won’t account for regional dialects!) because I’m going to share with you my extremely exciting holiday plans! Are you excited?!?! I know I am!

But, before I get into all that, I’d just like to say that today was my last day of work until after New Years, so I am SUPER EXCITED to not have to see my boss for the next 10 days!!! It’s like Christmas!

Anyway, here ya go, big plans:

Tomorrow (Christmas Eve)

My thrilling plans include doing laundry, which involves a laundromat (ugh.) and lugging twice my weight in dirty clothes up and down two flights of stairs. But it needs to be done. Maybe I”ll bake another batch of cookies, if I have the energy, and then when Paul gets home at 7:30pm we’ll head downstairs to his Aunt’s for Christmas Eve We’ll miss dinner, but that’s ok.

Saturday (Christmas)

We’ll get up and have our first Christmas in our new house! Yay! If by any chance I get engaged I’ll put it on Twitter, so follow me if you don’t already (shameless holiday plug, but whatev)! Then we’ll head over to his parent’s to spend some more time with them and then head down the shore to my family. We’re going to try to make a quick appearance at Gram’s house, but that depends on traffic. If we can’t make it then we’ll head right to my parent’s house for the rest of the day. Kay and G and Rufus will be there, so it’ll be a warm and fuzzy holiday filled with presents, darts, crab dip and picture-taking. I can’t wait!

Sunday-Thursday

Abso-frickin-lutely nothing. Sleep. Redeem my $20 Kohl’s cash I got when I bought my mom’s Christmas present (yay! It’s like a finder’s fee!) Sleep. Maybe hang out with La La. Sleep. Shovel snow. Sleep. You get the idea.

Friday (New Years Eve)

Paul and I were invited a couple of places. Last year we spent it with my friends, so this year he wants to spend it with his. Which I’m fine with. Although I didn’t know until, like, yesterday we were invited out with his friends, so I was counting on a nice, quiet evening home. Which sounds lovely. God, I’m old. But out with his friends I will go!

Following Saturday and Sunday (2011)

Sleep some more, and mourn the end of my vacation from work. Have I mentioned I severely dislike my boss?

So Merry Christmas and all that jazz to all of you out there in Blog Land! I hope it’s full of fuzzy kisses (from your pets), sloppy kisses (from your kids) and warming kisses (from your other’s) and wipe-the-lipstick-off-your-cheek kisses from your great aunt’s and grandmas! I’ll try to post next week, especially if he puts a ring on it! (By the way, I’m doubting it, but a girl can dream, can’t she?)

Merry Christmas!

Hellooooooo

My wrist is currently extended so you can slap it. Cause I’ve been a slacker. A big one. No excuses.

Let me try to update you on everything that’s been going on since mid-October when I last had the energy to write:

Work:

Oy. Well, after a few more weeks of biting sarcastic comments from my boss coupled with feverish anxiety attacks on my part, I finally decided to bite the bullet and speak with her boss. It was a tough decision that I did not make lightly. And I almost chickened out, but the day I was debating going in, my boss called out sick, and I took that as a sign that it was meant to be.

So in I went, and I basically poured my heart out that the past 11 months had been terrible. I was very mindful to keep my sharing about her infringements on my personal life (the constant texts, the inappropriate comments about what I eat and Paul), and had very specific examples and documented conversations from several of them. I wanted my boss’ boss (we’ll call her BB) to understand that I was working hard and wasn’t asking for my boss to give me less work or anything, just that her comments were affecting my comfort at work.

BB was amazingly understanding and asked to confront my boss. I was hesitant; that was never my intent. I just wanted to share so that when I left they understood why. But after discussing it with my family and friends, I decided that it was the right thing to do. So BB confronted my boss, I don’t know the details of the conversation, but she was required to apologize to me, something that I could tell she clearly did not want to do. I promised to be more on point (which I believe I have been) and she promised to be nicer. And so far, for the most part, she has. The past week or so she’s made some snippy comments, but I’m slowly and surely trying to let them go, and not internalize them.

November 9th was my 1 year anniversary, so I’ve managed to survive 13 months here so far. My goal is to last until the end of the spring semester at least, so I can say I’ve got a year and a half on my resume. I’ve done some looking and send in a few, but the time is obviously not right, and I haven’t gotten any calls.

I firmly believe that I’m here right now for a reason, and that life doesn’t throw anything your way that you can’t handle. Ultimately, I want the experience and to learn, and I do believe I have in my time here. But I also want to have a happy work environment that isn’t pressure driven and stressful. So I’m still in search for the balance of the two. On a good note, there’s only a week and a half left in the semester, and then I get 11 days off for free! Yay for working for higher education!

Paul

All’s well on the boyfriend front. I’ll be honest that my sex drive has been quite low over the past few months, and I attribute that to several things:

  1. Post-vagina-gate nerves; once you’ve had painful sex, you’re always a little skittish,
  2. Attach of the Ulcerative Colitis; I always feel like I have to poop or fart, and often do, so it makes spreading your legs and relaxing kind of hard.
  3. I’m fucking tired, yo! This semester has been packed with events, so when I get home, the last thing I want to do is roll in the hay, I want to sleep.

But honestly, I think Paul is ok with it. He’s a patient guy and loved me no matter what, so we’re just fine!

Now, with that said, the boy needs to get on with the proposing. seriously. We’ve been together over a year and a half, and lived together for 8 months. PROPOSE ALREADY!!!

Christmas


Please allow the following video to summarize my holiday season:

http://www.facebook.com/v/1672034957170

So there you have it! The past few weeks in a nutshell! I’m seriously going to work on posting more, maybe in January I’ll even promise to post every day for a month!

Later!