Parallel Universe

This is going to be a little random and scattered, but I think it works.

I’m almost afraid to jinx it. Actually, I’m totally afraid to jinx it. But let’s just say, things are ok at work. Boss and I had a good chat today. I think she’s slowly starting to realize I’m not the enemy. And that’s all I have to say about that.

We took our “staff” bowling today as a staff outing. I quoted staff up because only 3 of our 15 student staff attended, which kind of stinks, but we had a really nice time. One of our students has a daughter, and I spent most of our bowling time with her on my lap singing our ABCs. The best part about it is that at the end, my student came up to me and told me I’d be a really good mom. And that made me kind of warm and fuzzy on the inside.

I had a moment earlier this week when I thought I could maybe be pregnant, but for a weird reason: I was smelling things really strongly. Actually, I was smelling the liter box very strongly and Jersey’s box is not usually smelly, but I think I just went in there to clean it right after she went, so the ammonia smell was still there. I mean, ho boy, was it there. So, of course, my crazy illogical mind thinks that means I’m pregnant. Further consideration had made me realize that I’m not, because, well, I’m not. But, for the 5 minutes I thought I might be, I was totally ok with it. Not totally ok with how we could afford it (we can’t.), but ok with the idea of being a mom right now. I’ll be honest that I’m a lot jealous of LaLa and her belly and her little person that will be here soon.

In other pet related news, we’re still waiting to hear about our dog. I think I mentioned we’re trying to adopt a dog. A Boston Terrier. We’re working with a local rescue group, and have made it through the adoption process, but are just waiting for one of the foster parent’s to contact us saying that they have the perfect dog for us. Keep your fingers crossed.

And finally, I am thrilled it’s the weekend. I’m even more thrilled that next week will be quiet and easy and I go back to working a normal person 9-5. For the rest of the summer. No late nights until September. I can’t wait. My big weekend plans? Sleeping in, lounging in my pj’s, doing laundry, and doing some shopping. Sounds perfect, yes?

So Happy Friday. May your weekend be a boring as watching the grass grow. That’s a good thing. Night!

And On That Note…

Paul has this little pile of gifts piled under his nightstand, and they are (I presume) my birthday presents.  They are all wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. God bless him, if there is perfectly good wrapping paper in the house, why not use it?

Anyway, the point of this it that there are three neatly wrapped items. I already know what one is (How I Met Your Mother season 3. He thought I didn’t have it. Nope, I lent it to LaLa and Freckles) but the other two are a mystery. However, they are exactly the size of a DVD/video game container.

Sigh.

I love him. And I love the effort he put into whatever he got. But I don’t want video games. I want to be his wife.

First of all, I don’t really play video games. So while the thought it nice, it’s kind of him projecting his interests onto me. (Like when my boss gave me a travel coffee mug for Christmas. I don’t drink coffee, bitch.) And I understand that he wants me to want to play video games, and am willing to play every once in a while, it’s not really want I want for my birthday.

And as far as DVDs, well, ok, again. Not really what I want. I never asked for any DVDs. So Lord only knows what they could be.

I don’t know what I’d want for my birthday other than a ring. I think that’s the problem. And, yes, I recognize that the ring isn’t just about buying it for me, it comes with a lot of other stuff, but I want it so badly, that I can’t think of anything else I’d want.

It’s not just the ring thing, either. My mom and I were in Target last weekend, and I saw a comforter I liked. My mom offered to buy it for us for my birthday, until she thought about it, then redacted the offer, because she said, “it’s not really for you”. I then spent about 20 awkward minutes in the store wandering around trying to think of something I wanted: and couldn’t.

I want painted walls. Not a present for me. I want a bedroom set. Not a present for me. And beyond that, because Paul and I went out the next day and bought a (different) new comforter with money from our change jar, I don’t really know what else I’d want.

Isn’t that sad? I cannot think of anything that I’d want for just me, not the house. I don’t want (non-engagement) jewelry; I don’t want clothes; I don’t want electronics; I don’t want books; I don’t want “experiences”. So what the heck do I want?

I was the same way at Christmas. What did I ask for? Tools, a pillow, and knives. I repeat: TOOLS, A PILLOW, AND KNIVES. How boring!

But the one thing I do want, what I can envision, and fantasize about receiving, is a shiny ring on my left hand. The kind that comes with the promise of a future, the commitment of a loved one, and the chance to plan a big party.

So I think that’s why I can’t think of anything else I want. Because I want what only Paul can get me. In his own time. When he’s good and ready.

Arg.